Future-proof Negotiations
I spent last month digging through negotiation theories, and something important is missing.
Is Harvard (not) teaching this?
These are the two key competing ideas underneath all the noise:
How to win
How to make everyone win
That’s it, that’s pretty much the baseline. And it won’t surprise you that I am all in for option (2): how to make everyone win.
But… all the theories I read talk about the present moment. What about our future business relationships? How do we negotiate for a future-proof outcome?
No matter how much rigour or underlying philosophy these theories have, they overlook this critical factor. Admittedly, some theories lightly touch on it, but I make the case that business leaders need this deep dive:
We can only negotiate a good deal if we approach the outcome as a temporary scaffolding milestone in an ongoing relationship evolution.
Ok, that was a mouthful. What do I mean by that?
Every status quo is temporary. Therefore, the goal cannot end with the milestone. Because the world keeps moving. So do we, and so does the party we negotiate with.
A deal reached may mark the end of a specific problem negotiation, but it does not mark the end of a healthy business relationship. If anything, it should mark the beginning of it.
But…What about the amazing glass-ceiling-crasher, nation-state-peace-broker, or the I-can’t-believe-I-got-this-victorian-teaspoon-steal deals?”
Same!
Do you want to retire after breaking the glass ceiling, or keep going?
Do you want to have successful economies in peacetime?
Do you want to go back to that shop to get gifts for your friends?
If we want to build healthy business relationships, every negotiation is about scaffolding for the future. To do that, we have to approach empathy, risk mitigation, and storytelling for business deals differently.
Deal Now — Relationship Forever
When negotiating a deal, we need to view the outcome — the success — as just one of many milestones in our business journey with the other party.
Here’s the technique for that, and it applies to B2B deals and people management.
1) Develop Local Empathy: What is it both of you need NOW?
I agree that this is a crucial first step, as outlined by Ury/Fisher. We need to understand what the present moment entails for the deal. But then we need…
2) Develop Global Empathy: What is it both of you might need IN THE FUTURE, and based on this deal you’re now making?
Nobody can predict the future. But we are experts at economic projection based on our financial, social, and psychological variables. Ask yourself, and each other:
If this deal happens, what will likely be the case for each party?
How will this deal affect our organisations beyond ourselves?
What broader economic circles could be positively affected, and what would that mean for our future relationship?
(I think of this sometimes as Empathy Scope 3.)
3) Build a world you can both exist in, no matter what.
Having positive avenues in the future sweetens every business deal, but it signals something even more powerful: a partnership. Based on your evaluation in the 2nd step, clearly state what the next moves are that benefit both parties.
Ask: What if? What if this deal happens this week?
Telling a story of a shared future makes it real. If it is experienced, it can be negotiated. You will quickly see how you feel that you can or can’t identify with certain aspects of this future.
Most importantly: You need to tell the same story (watch the same movie in your heads) to arrive at the best outcome for your deal.
4) Mitigate psychological risks through integrity.
Knowing what avenues lie ahead for us enables us to envision our deal as a gateway to a world in which we can both exist and thrive. That is the backbone of a successful business relationship.
NEVER use your future avenues as leverage. This won’t work. It will damage your relationship.
Mitigating risks for business relationships is all about understanding that a whole bucketload of messy stuff is outside our control, but that we agree to work together on this deal and what lies beyond with integrity. If we don’t have that, maybe the deal should be off.
If you feel cheated, not seen, not heard, and don’t have a shared outlook, you will never do business with the person who left you out in the cold, ever again.
5) Mitigate economic uncertainty risks through clear chains of dependency.
If THIS then THAT. Clear chains of critical dependency don’t just clarify a project timeline or delivery scope, but they clarify the deal itself. It gives both parties a baseline to stick to if uncontrollable factors play out differently than envisioned.
6) Earn the trust over and over.
Show up for follow-ups. Show up for human-to-huma exchange over coffee. Don’t just honour the deal. Honour the person.
B2B is still just about people…
Takeaway:
You’re not negotiating a deal. You’re building a relationship. Mastering negotiation means mastering the co-creation of a shared future.
Behaviour tells the story.
ST Sammel, founder
ST is an award-winning filmmaker and enterprise advisor who makes story tools accessible to global executives, linking narrative psychology with leadership.